Finally, surrogates often talk about the emotional complexity of the experience—how deeply rewarding and uniquely challenging it can be.
They may experience unexpected feelings of grief, guilt, or even loss after delivery—not because they want to keep the baby, but because something profoundly intimate has ended. What they need is reassurance that the agency and the family will still be there—if only to say “thank you” or check in.
Emotional aftercare matters. It closes the loop. It validates the magnitude of the gift given. And it helps surrogates transition into life post-surrogacy with pride, peace, and support.

Legal agreements can feel overwhelming, especially for first-time surrogates. What surrogates want is someone who will stand beside them—who will make sure their rights are protected and their voice is heard.
Agencies play a vital role here. Ensuring that surrogates have independent legal counsel, that contracts are explained in plain language, and that surrogates never feel rushed to sign—these steps build long-term trust and reduce the risk of conflict later.
Legal protection isn’t just about terms; it’s about being respected as an equal party in the process.

Being matched with a family is a moment filled with anticipation—and sometimes nerves. Surrogates want to feel that the agency is acting in everyone’s best interest, not just trying to “make a match.”
They want transparency: Who is this couple? What are their expectations? Are their values aligned with mine? Do they see me as a partner or just a provider?
When a match is based on more than logistics—when it’s grounded in shared intentions and mutual respect—surrogates feel more secure stepping into it. The connection becomes a collaboration, not a contract.

Many surrogates choose this path because they loved being pregnant and want to help others experience that joy. But the journey is very different from carrying for yourself.
Surrogates value thorough screening—not because they’re afraid to “pass” or “fail,” but because they want reassurance that they’re truly ready. They appreciate counseling that helps them reflect on how their children might respond, how they’ll handle attachment, or how they’ll navigate postpartum emotions.
Being fully prepared, both physically and emotionally, gives surrogates the confidence they need. And when agencies take the time to help them get there, that confidence becomes resilience.

Compensation is never the only motivator—but it’s an important part of feeling respected and protected. Surrogates want to know exactly what they’ll receive, when, and how. Ambiguity breeds anxiety.
That’s why it’s essential for agencies to walk surrogates through the compensation and benefits package early in the process—before legal review begins. This conversation provides a clear breakdown of fees, allowances, and reimbursements, helping surrogates fully understand what they’re agreeing to before the legal contract is even drafted.
When this level of transparency happens up front, surrogates feel informed and empowered—not just prepared to sign, but prepared to engage with the journey ahead.

Surrogates often ask, “What happens after I’m matched?” or “Who do I go to if something doesn’t feel right?” These questions are about safety and belonging.
They want to know the agency will check in regularly—not just when something’s wrong. They want to be guided through each step with transparency and patience, and to have someone available to listen, not just respond.
Clear expectations around contact, availability, and advocacy (especially during medical or emotional challenges) make a big difference. Surrogates want to feel like they have a true team behind them—not just during screening, but all the way through recovery.

Surrogates step into this journey with both heart and purpose, and what they often want most is to be treated not as a vessel, but as a whole person. From initial inquiry to post-delivery support, the surrogate’s individuality—her family life, communication style, values, and emotional needs—should be acknowledged and honored.
When agencies lead with curiosity and care, rather than just screening and checklists, surrogates feel valued. They’re more likely to trust the process, to speak up when something feels off, and to invest emotionally in a match that feels reciprocal. Respect fosters loyalty, openness, and, most importantly, well-being.

Surrogates don’t just carry a pregnancy—they carry the hopes, dreams, and trust of another family. Their journey is full of generosity, complexity, and often unseen emotional labor.
In this series, we explore what matters most from the surrogate’s perspective—from feeling respected as an individual to receiving clear communication, legal protection, and ongoing emotional support. These insights are based on years of listening to surrogates and learning what truly helps them feel empowered, valued, and safe throughout the process.
Whether you’re building or refining a surrogacy program, these reflections are meant to ground your approach in empathy and excellence.

Despite all the planning, precision, and expertise, sometimes the process simply doesn’t work. And what makes this so difficult is when it fails without a clear reason.
I’ve witnessed cases where multiple frozen embryo transfers (FETs) were attempted with no success. The surrogate followed the protocol flawlessly. The embryos were of good quality. The medical teams were confident. But each cycle ended in disappointment, with no clinical explanation to lean on.
These are the moments that challenge our faith in the science and process we’ve come to trust. But they also remind us that reproduction is not transactional—it’s human, layered, and sometimes unpredictable.
At some point, a shift has to happen. That might mean a new match, a reevaluation of the approach, or simply acknowledging that pushing forward may no longer be the best path for everyone involved.
I’ve seen these unexplained failures resolve in unexpected ways. The same embryos later result in a healthy pregnancy with a different surrogate. Or the original surrogate—after those failed attempts—goes on to carry successfully for another couple. There’s no straight line. There are only chapters, and sometimes they close not with answers, but with acceptance.

Whether you’d like to explore this topic further or to seek support in a similar situation, you can connect with Carol here!

Another frequent—and deeply avoidable—source of breakdown in surrogacy matches stems not from what someone is doing, but from what they’re not disclosing.
Whether it’s an intended parent continuing to pursue their own fertility treatment, working with more than one surrogate simultaneously, or holding back key pieces of personal history, the issue isn’t judgment. It’s the erosion of trust. Transparency isn’t about perfection; it’s about alignment. And when someone withholds material information, intentionally or not, it creates an imbalance that can shake the foundation of the match.
What makes this especially challenging is that these omissions often come to light late in the process—sometimes at the psychological review, or even when legal contracts are being finalized. At that point, both parties have invested emotionally and logistically, making any disruption that much more painful.
This is where experienced agencies and their screening protocols play a vital role. Creating a space where honesty is expected and supported—not punished—is key. The goal isn’t to exclude someone for trying to conceive or building their family in multiple ways; it’s to make sure all parties understand the full landscape before they commit to walking it together.

Whether you’d like to explore this topic further or to seek support in a similar situation, you can connect with Carol <a href=”https://cwconsultants.us/contact/”>here</a>!