Angie’s Birth Story

For this birth story, we are so thrilled to share Angie’s story in her own words!

“Baby was due Saturday September 5th , a day we had all been anxiously awaiting, but the day came and went with only a few mild and irregular contractions. With both of my “keepers” (my own biological children) labor began spontaneously in my 39 th week so I never dreamed that I would make it to 40 weeks with this precious surrogate baby whose gestational age we knew down to the day. There was also the added stress that I desperately wanted a Vaginal Birth After Cesarean (VBAC) and my doctor was on board as long as I started labor on my own before my due date. Thanks to the Labor Day holiday and hospital scheduling, I was able to put off scheduling the repeat C-section for 5 days after my due date.

Saturday evening, I was so sure, or maybe just hopeful, that labor was near I sent my children for a sleepover at my sister’s house. I bounced on the yoga ball, took long walks, ate spicy salsa and chips for lunch, ate almost an entire pineapple and did everything I could think of to safely get labor started naturally. I went to bed around 9:30 telling myself I needed to be well rested for the marathon I was sure I was about to run. I woke at 10:30 thinking, “This is it!” I used the bathroom and laid down waiting for another strong contraction…then I woke up again at 11:30 thinking, “This is it!” used the bathroom, laid down, fell asleep…this continued every hour all night.

Finally, at about 3:45am the contractions kept coming and were not stopping. I started the contraction timer on my phone and timed them for a while, 3-4 minutes apart. I decided to take a shower while my husband went to the kitchen to make coffee. I breathed and swayed through about 7 more contractions during my long shower and when I got out, decided it was time to wake my doula, Ivette. I sent her a screenshot of the contraction timer and she said they were all over the place, it may not be time. I told her there were 7 not recorded while I was in the shower. She changed her mind and would meet us at the hospital an hour from my home. The Intended Parents had already begun their stay at an Air BnB about 15 minutes from our designated hospital. Since my previous labors were 25 and 18 hours I again assumed this labor would be about the same. I texted Shannon to let her know labor had begun but I had not yet contacted the Intended Parents. I had every intention of being the one to let Mom know their baby was coming but I got a little busy and was thankful word got to the parents anyway.

We arrived at the hospital around 6:30am and unloaded our bags onto a bench outside of the maternity entrance. I really wanted both my husband and my doula to come in and support me while I attempted my VBAC but due to new regulations for covid and despite my calling Labor and Delivery and begging them to let me have both, the hospital was adamant that I could only bring one support person in with me. So, I continued to labor outside the hospital for a couple of hours. It was comforting to hang from my husband’s strong arms while staring in Ivette’s eyes as she coached me to breathe through each intensifying contraction. The sound of the water in the fountain and the cool dawn breeze were also soothing elements that I would have missed out on had I been indoors.

At about 8:30 am it became clear that it was time to go inside and be evaluated. The next hour I spent in triage with a nurse answering what felt like a thousand questions and without either of my support people. The nurse checked my cervix and told me I was 4cm dilated. My heart sank, I wished she had not told me. I wasn’t sure I was up for the next 12+ hours of labor that were surely in my future. She handed me the hospital gown and bag for my clothes and left me to change in privacy. I stood and felt a trickle down my leg… my water broke, thankfully it was clear.

When I got to the labor and delivery room, the triage nurse said the L&D nurse would be in soon and again she left me alone. I started to panic and texted my doula, “in room help ow”. It felt like she appeared instantly. We noticed the tub in the bathroom but since my water had broken we knew I couldn’t submerge in a bath. But the idea of being soothed by water was too irresistible and I got in anyway. Ivette aimed a stream of warm water down my back and over my belly and it felt amazing! When the new nurse walked in, I think she was a bit horrified that I was already in the tub. She instructed me to get out immediately so she could put the monitors on and since I had a previous C-section the monitors needed to stay on continuously. Ivette immediately requested wireless monitors so we could continue to labor in various positions without getting tangled up in wires and belts. The sanding of my belly to apply the monitor securely was a little weird but I went with it so I could walk and kneel and squat as I needed.

I was checked at 10:30am and still at 4 cm I was again discouraged and beginning to ask for pain medications to help me cope. My doula reminded me that if I did go for an epidural at 4 cm I would likely end up with another c section because my doctor would not give me Pitocin to augment a stalled labor for fear my uterus would rupture. She knew that was all I needed to hear to keep going at it naturally a little longer. Then it was time to be tested for covid. Someone came in with the long white swab and informed me of the sample collection process. Moments after she began twisting and turning the swab deep in my nasopharynx a contraction began, my eyes widened, and the nurse stepped back leaving the swab in place while I breathed through it. When it subsided, she twisted the swab a few more times for good measure and finally removed it. Ivette saw it coming and had the emesis bag ready as I threw up all I had left in my stomach.

The next time I was checked I was at 6 cm and decided I really did want some IV medications to relax me so I could continue laboring. The nurse left to get the medications and Ivette helped me to the bathroom where my water broke some more, and she noticed I began feeling “pushy”. By the time the nurse came back and was ready to administer IV medications, my doula asked that I be checked again due to the pushy feelings. I was shocked to hear that I had gone from 6 cm to 9 cm in under an hour! The room quickly began changing, the bed was transformed, more people came into the room and Ivette video called my husband who was waiting in the hospital parking lot. I remember being so excited that things were moving so rapidly but also felt terrified of the suddenly almost unbearable contractions. I was also desperately wishing the baby’s mom would be there soon to witness the birth. Ivette recognized I was starting to lose control and was able to re-center my focus and breathing. It was time to start pushing. I wanted to push on my side and my doctor was adamant that I lay on my back. I actually argued with him for a while but eventually submitted and began pushing. The baby’s mom appeared at my side. I was so happy to see her! I continued pushing and yelled again at my doctor to stop counting while I was working hard to get the baby out. I yelled at him at least one more time not to cut me when I thought he was about to perform a tool-less episiotomy. I pushed for less than half an hour. Ivette held my right leg, Mom held my left, my husband and the baby’s dad watched together via video as baby girl came into this world! She was tiny and pink and completely perfect weighing 7pounds 1 oz and measuring 18.5 inches long. They delayed cord clamping for about a minute while she lay on my abdomen and Mom and I admired and stroked her. When it was time, Mom got to cut the umbilical cord. Ivette took some beautiful first hour photographs of the three of us. I know I will treasure the photos of those precious moments forever.”

September 2020 Bios of the Month

Derek

In typical fashion, we ask our GCs a million questions and with Derek, we found ourselves humbled by her answers. When asked about the best time in her life, she said it was now! It is such a rare quality to be fulfilled with the now instead of seeking the next big thing. She has a Bachelor’s degree in accounting, but fills her cup by spending time with her husband and her three girls; ages 3, 6, and 11.

She says that her ultimate goal is to raise happy, healthy, successful children while maintaining a strong and happy marriage. Aside from the gratification of raising fabulous people, her goal is to leave her mark on the world by doing something amazing. In her mind, and ours, giving the gift of helping a family grow meets that ambition! We’re so honored to be along on this journey with her and her Intended Parents. Every journey is beautiful but Building Families’ journeys are our favorite.

Tiffany

With Tiffany, what you see is what you get! From the first interaction, she is warm and welcoming. It doesn’t come as a surprise that her philosophy of life is to treat others how you want to be treated. She is a proud mother to her three children, Caleb(14), Ysabella(7), and Giada(2), and spends each day working to provide a loving home for her family while creating memories along the way. She loves party planning, but her Bachelor’s degree is in languages.

Someday, when her children have all reached school age, she would love to earn her teaching credential so that she could use that degree to enrich the lives of teens by teaching high school Spanish! It is her love of her family and her desire to make the world a better place that has brought her to surrogacy. She says having the opportunity to help someone build a family that otherwise would not be able to is such a blessing to her. WE are blessed to be on this journey with you, Tiffany!

Aleza’s Birth Story

In these times when social distancing is required especially in medical situations, Aleza and her husband created a moment that will be remembered by Shannon and Randi forever.  On August 26, 2020 at the 11th hour, they made a three-way call so they could be present for Aleza’s delivery.  How amazing was that??!!

The little cutie pie made her grand entrance weighing a perfect 6lb 7oz!!  Aleza shared that the moment she saw the new mommy holding her newborn baby girl, every twinge, inconvenience, anything remotely negative went flying out the window.  This is what she will recall when she thinks about her pregnancy and surrogacy journey always.

Pregnant During COVID-19 : Annette’s Story Final Installment

My last article left off at my watching the progression of COVID-19 on television.  It was hard to believe it was real.  But the isolation I was living and having to rely on phone and video calls to see my younger children was evidence enough that this was actually happening.

 

As days turned into weeks, I knew the end of my journey was around the corner.  Throughout my stay in the hospital, I had many calls and texts from BFI which I appreciated so much.  I knew they would have been here with me if they could.  One time, Carol came to my room stating she had documents for me to sign and told the staff she couldn’t just leave them.  Not sure why they believed her, but I’m glad they did!  I’m not sure how she pulled it off, but she also brought In-N-Out!  Yum!

 

It was soon thereafter that I learned that Intended Dad wasn’t going to make it for the birth.  I had a feeling that would happen, but I still had hope.  He sent me an email apologizing for not being able to come.  I tried to reassure him that it was fine, but truthfully, we were both sad and disappointed.  But I had already decided early on that I would make the best of whatever came my way.  

 

The idea of a C-Section was hard to imagine as all of my children were born naturally and quite easily.  The unknown usually causes fear or anxiety so I was glad that Shannon, once again, talked me through it and calmed my nerves.  The other concern I had was that they would only let me get to 34 weeks before doing the C-Section.  I worried that he would not be ready, were his lungs developed enough, what hurdles will he have to overcome, will he be ok?  Then I just prayed.  At some point, you realize that it is not in your hands so I just gave it God.

 

To my surprise, Baby J was born weighing 5lbs!  I couldn’t believe how big he was!  And he required very little assistance.  The medical staff couldn’t believe he was only 34 weeks gestation.  I was fortunate to visit Baby J often in the NICU throughout his 3 week hospital stay.  

 

Baby J was discharged to Carol and a foster family who were so gracious to Dad and to all of us.  They sent pictures at least daily, but usually more often.  I was able to see him grow so strong and remain in good health.  When Dad was finally able to arrive in California, we all got together so I could finally see Dad and son united.  I was so sad for him as he missed the first two months of his son’s life but to see him beaming as he held his son, there are no words to describe that moment. 

 

I am glad to report that Dad and son are now home and are joined with Baby J’s mother and sister.  I am still receiving pictures and the love I see between each person and Baby J is incredible.  Clearly he is finally where he is meant to be.  

 

Note from Carol:  Annette, thank you so much for sharing your story with us and the world.  Your journey took so many unexpected twists and turns and you handled them all with such grace.  I am and will always be in awe of you and your beautiful family.  XOXO

 

 

Pregnant During COVID-19; Annette’s Story Part 2

A quick look back.  After giving in to her nerves, Annette was a wreck when she arrived for her embryo transfer.  Then after just a few minutes with Shannon, her nerves were settled and she made a vow that she would only have positive thoughts from that point forward.  Little did she know how important this vow would become.

 

I was on a high after becoming pregnant after only one try.  The first trimester of pregnancy was going by so fast.  As we were heading into the 2nd trimester, an ultrasound detected an issue with the placenta.  It was a diagnosis, Vasa Previa, that I recall hearing about in a recent Group meeting with Dr. Rad.  I maintained my positive outlook and told everyone at BFI, “I got this!”  I followed the doctor’s advice and knew that the day would come when I would be hospitalized for the remainder of the pregnancy. I focused on the things I could control and I knew I had work to do.  

 

I was working full-time and a single mom to 3 kids.  I explained the situation to everyone and my job was phenomenal in understanding my situation and my kids were amazing.  They helped me pack a bag of things to do. We packed coloring books, puzzles, and books.  I even splurged on a Nintendo Switch!  Of course, I had my laptop too.  And we made plans for our daily visits. I prepared for the worst and hoped for the best.  I mentally prepared everyone for two months knowing my stay would not be any longer than that.  Never in a million years could I have anticipated what would happen next.

 

The first week went as expected.  Shannon, Randi and Carol came to visit at different times. My entire family visited me daily which included my kids, my mom, and extended family.  We played games, watched television, and just hung out.  Then the allowed visitors dwindled down to 2 and they had to be over 16.  Two of my three children are under 16 so this was a difficult transition for everyone.  I remember thinking as I was sitting with my two youngest children, that it could be weeks before I held them again.  It was a very sad moment for me.  

 

Then overnight there was a significant change in my surroundings.  The medical staff were wearing masks and gowns and stated that they were going to minimize contact with me for my safety.  Literally, the next day everyone who entered the hospital was screened before being allowed to enter.  The hospital protocols were changing by the hour. And then I was told that I could only have one visitor for the remainder of my stay.   I spoke to my oldest daughter and together we decided she should be the one.  

 

I was isolated from the world that my family was living in. I watched the progression of COVID-19 on television and it was surreal.  I felt like I was watching a movie, it was not possible that this could really be happening, could it?  My thoughts were constantly on my kids and how they were managing this new lifestyle.  I have never been more thankful for technology than during this time.  I was able to speak or video chat with them every day and I think that helped us all tremendously.  

ASRM

The acronyms in the reproductive world are many! Do you know what ASRM stands for?

ASRM stands for American Society for Reproductive Medicine.

From their website:

ASRM is a multidisciplinary organization dedicated to the advancement of the science and practice of reproductive medicine. The Society accomplishes its mission through the pursuit of excellence in education and research and through advocacy on behalf of patients, physicians, and affiliated health care providers. The Society is committed to facilitating and sponsoring educational activities for the lay public and continuing medical education activities for professionals who are engaged in the practice of and research in reproductive medicine.

www.reproductivefacts.org

Melissa’s Birth Story

Timing is everything.  I’m sure you have heard that before.  There was just one day all year that would be impossible for the Intended Mom to be away from her studies.  If she missed this course, she would have to wait another year to sit for it again.  What are the odds? No problem, right?  Wrong!!  

The morning of July 16, the only inconvenient date all year, Melissa was admitted to the hospital.  Melissa, BFI and the Intended Dad kept silent about the impending birth.  We only needed hours before the new mommy would be available so we were on pins and needles waiting to see if the baby would wait to be born.  He did decide to wait for his mommy to finish her class and arrive in time to the hospital.  The doctor was running late so mommy shared she technically could deliver the baby if needed. Just as the gloves were coming on, the doctor rushed in. So instead, she cut his cord and was the first person to hold him. Whew!!  Truly, timing is everything!!

Jamie’s Birth Story

Surprise!  My water broke!  Those were words we didn’t expect to hear as Jamie usually needs to be induced!  It was a beautiful surprise on July 16, 2020 when she delivered a perfect little guy weighing in at 5lb 10oz.  

Due to the sudden start to labor, the new parents weren’t able to arrive until the next day.  But Jesus, Jamie’s husband, was so thoughtful and he recorded the entire delivery.  So, they still got to see the moment their baby entered the world and learn for the first time that they had a son!!

After every storm, comes the rainbow!

For many, 2020 marks the year of missed opportunity. Working and learning from home. Canceled events. Missing loved ones. Masks you never imagined wearing to the grocery store. But these ladies? For these ladies being in a delivery room was once a far off dream, daring to hope it was in their future. For our IPs, it is hard to picture what that day might look like, and you can guarantee they never expected it to look like this! These ladies persevered and didn’t let the masks get in the way of their dream. After every storm, comes the rainbow. We are so incredibly blessed to be in an industry that allows us to have a small part in these rainbows.