One evening, Nataly shows up at the hospital and was sent home to await “real” labor. The nurses said she didn’t look full-term and wondered if she had her dates wrong. After just a few hours, Nataly was back and labor was on! Everyone in the delivery room was shocked to see such a big baby! That’s right, on January 17, 2020, she delivered a huge 9lb 3oz baby!!! Way to go Nataly and a huge congratulations to the IPs!
Surrogate Mom, Jamie, is 8 weeks today and we’re celebrating with this throwback photo from her heartbeat confirmation! Although, Jamie and her couple confirmed pregnancy through blood work a few weeks ago, there is something magical and affirming hearing the heartbeat for the first time. Stay tuned for updates on Jamie’s pregnancy!
#surrogacyrocks #madewithloveandalittlescience #surrogatemom #buildingfamiliesinc #BFP #heartbeatconfirmation #8weekspregnant
December is notoriously busy with all of the hustle and bustle of the holidays. This year has been no exception for BFI! We’ve been working extra hard on the very best gifts this year. In fact, we had a record SIX transfers this month alone! Stay tuned for case updates on Aleza, Jamie, Christine L., Corinne, Christine S., and Angela!
Program Manager, Randi, and Case Manager, Shannon, were able to meet up with Surrogate’s Angie and Christine for a lovely breakfast before their frozen embryo transfers this week! It’s so nice to get together to talk and go over any questions or concerns before the big day.
This lovely lady is Melissa. A few months ago she was diagnosed with Vasa Previa. In lay-mans terms, the baby’s blood supply membranes had grown outside of the placenta and umbilical cord causing them to block the birth canal. With this condition, if the membranes were to rupture, it would be fatal for the baby. All of the things the cervix does to prepare for labor, thinning and dilation were dangerous to the pregnancy. Because of this, Melissa was monitored very closely.
She relocated her family to be closer to a hospital with a higher level NICU and at 30 weeks gestation moved into the hospital full time for round the clock monitoring. The goal was to deliver baby girl, via c-section, in week 34 before Melissa’s body could begin readying for labor. As we all know, the best-laid birth plans can go awry!
The first photo was taken on 12/4 when Melissa had 5 days until her planned c-section. The second photo was taken in the morning on 12/5 when baby girl decided she was ready to make her debut! With Mom, Dad, and Case Manager Shannon by her side Melissa completed her journey beautifully at 10:53 am when baby girl was born.
At 4lbs 9oz and 17 inches long, she is thriving! We are so awed by the strength shown by Melissa and her IP’s through this experience. Every journey is magical in its own way, but we are especially grateful to have been there every step of the way with this journey. Baby girl, we can’t wait to see who you’ll be!
For more information about Vasa Previa visit http://vasaprevia.com/
Vasa Previa. This is a term that BFI had never heard of in all of its 28+ years. When you have as many pregnancies as we have, you are bound to encounter things that are considered rare. Melissa’s case would be the one that would teach us about this. And we learned a lot! But the best or most important thing we learned from Melissa and her Couple was perseverance.
There aren’t enough words to describe these 3 people. Committed, faithful, devoted and engaged are just a few. Melissa was committed to keeping baby safe and healthy until she was able to put her into her parent’s arms. In the end, which is what wraps up a surrogacy story, a beautiful and healthy baby girl was born weighing a petite 4lb 9oz on December 5, 2019. She, too, was committed and fought to be born. We can hardly wait to see who she will become!!!
In May 2018, I said good-bye to my couple and their sweet baby girl. I remember thinking as they drove away that this must be how a mom feels when her child drives off to college for the first time. A combination of joy, sadness, gratitude, and pride. I knew in my heart that no matter the miles between us, we were all bonded for life.
Within a few days, I was feeling like my old self, well mostly. My jeans still didn’t fit, LOL! Sometimes it seemed like I had dreamt the whole thing, but then I received photos and the memories all came rushing back! The photos were of their baby girl meeting various family and friends. I poured over these images, awestruck! I imagined how it must have felt for them to endure a month wait after her birth to finally hold her. It’s another layer to the journey of an international couple. The support team who prayed alongside them during the initial arduous struggles and then through their surrogacy journey must wait until the new family travels home which is usually about one month after the birth. Although they often received updates via photos and videos that I shared with my couple, I could see in the pictures how eager they were to be with the newest addition. I definitely appreciate the support system my newfound extended family had before, during and after their baby girl’s arrival!
With our busy schedules and the time difference, it was often difficult to connect in real-time so we maintained communication through shared videos and pictures. I was never more grateful for technology!! We did manage to Skype as often as time permitted and we hubby, kids and I enjoyed that so much. I was humbled by how often they thought of me. They shared every new development, from her adorable fashion to their vacations. They even shared a video of her first steps with me. These are precious moments for the parents and I remember feeling honored that I was amongst the few that received these kinds of updates.
Perhaps the most touching video was from her first birthday party. In the video, they showed all of her party guests and openly expressed their gratitude for my role in our journey. I take time now and then to watch the video. It reminds me that regardless of the craziness that can be my life, I did something that has infinite effect and worth.
Although this is the conclusion of my blog series, it is nowhere near the end of my story. I have been given a gift that I will treasure forever, new family members! And besides that……baby girl who is already 1 year old, will have a sibling in 2020!!! That’s right, her parents want to give her someone to share her life with and I am thrilled that they asked me to help them again. Keep an eye on BFI’s social media for updates regarding my surrobabe’s transition to BIG SISTER!
Thank you for reading my story and hopefully, I will be reading your story soon!!
Did you know that a psychological evaluation is required prior to your acceptance into the program at Building Families, Inc? Read on to learn why.
Dr. Radojevic’s objective is to ensure that each gestational carrier understands the commitment being made and she must determine if the carrier has sufficient coping skills to manage a surrogacy arrangement. How does she make this determination? Well, first let me point out that Dr. Rad is an expert in diagnostic evaluations. She has chosen to use a personality inventory exam along with a clinical interview to gather the data she needs to make a determination. Most often, she is able to do this with just one visit, but if she feels more data is needed, then she calls the surrogate mom to review any concerns or questions she has. She also interviews the surrogate’s husband/partner. Once she clears the gestational carrier, she calls Randi and Carol to give a report listing the qualities that this amazing woman possesses. This helps them in finding the right match for her.
Psychological clearance is just the beginning of the carrier’s relationship with Dr. Rad. She will see Dr. Rad every month in the group counseling sessions that are required throughout the surrogacy journey. Dr. Rad loves working with our surrogate moms and makes herself available to counsel them through all of life’s events while they are in our program. Her continuous involvement also gives her the advantage of recognizing potential issues and diffuse them before they turn into an actual problem. It is our belief that the psychological component in the surrogacy arrangement is as essential as the medical component. BFI seeks to assist all of our surrogates in receiving the best possible care overall throughout their journey.
I left off that I had a small complication that didn’t allow me to visit with anyone the night after I delivered. But, the first thing the next day my couple and their new baby came for a visit which lasted all day and we celebrated her safe arrival. It is definitely up there on my list of ‘best days’ of my life!!
Our good-byes, for now, happened the next day. We were being discharged from the hospital. When I entered their room, I saw their baby and she was wearing the family heirloom outfit! The one that her mother and her auntie wore when they were born!! It is a memory that often comes to mind and makes me smile.
I was pretty exhausted which was expected after the blood loss I suffered during delivery. When I got home, which was only minutes from leaving the hospital since we live so close, I fell asleep. I awoke to my little family around me making sure I was resting and recovering. It was a big difference from when our children were born that the main focus was on me! It was nice!!
I had offered to pump breastmilk and my couple happily accepted. You never know if you will have a good supply, and you must know me by now that it was something I worried about. But, we were really lucky! Not only did I have a sufficient supply, I naturally woke up at night to pump and was able to keep a good pumping schedule and provided milk for the baby for the month before they all went home.
My husband and I were so thankful that our couple rented an Airbnb close to our home. We were able to visit with them every few days while they were here. It was during this time that our bond was really cemented. We became honorary Aunt & Uncle to their baby girl and they filled the same roles to our children as well. I remember spending afternoons with them and while mom and I were cooing over the baby, dad took my kids into the backyard for exploration and fun. We still talk about how one of the best times was that summer with them.
Near the end of their stay, we were able to host a BBQ where our extended family was able to meet the new family. I think until that point they didn’t really understand why I did what I did. But meeting my couple and seeing them with their baby was so huge for my parents especially. I definitely was able to see the moment when the magnitude of the situation hit my mom. Although she’s always been a big supporter of her children, I can’t think of another time she was more proud of me. Seeing a couple become a family and knowing you had any small part of it, it’s really unparalleled. I think for my parents, seeing their child be a part of that and knowing that all of the times they babysat or helped out in my journey were all steps to making this dream come true was really amazing.
The last day before my couple went home was bittersweet. I was overwhelmed with excitement for them to introduce their child to their friends and family. I knew that they were being met at the airport by the maternal grandparents and paternal grandmother and couldn’t wait to hear all about their reaction to meeting baby. On the other hand, my little family was so sad that we wouldn’t be able to see them every week anymore. We had grown used to having meals together and had really bonded on a personal level with them. The word bond is too small to adequately express the level of our relationship. I felt as close to them as my own family. How do you properly describe that bond??
We stood in the entryway of my home just hugging and crying and promising to keep in touch. My sassy, then two and a half year old daughter, managed to lighten the mood. When Dad went to put baby girl in the car seat to leave, it wasn’t empty! My daughter had strapped a baby doll in her place! It gave us a good laugh. When they drove away, I imagined that this must be how a mom feels when her child drives off to college for the first time. A combination of joy, sadness, gratitude, and pride. I knew in my heart that no matter the miles between us, we were all bonded for life.
This is my fifth installment in my surrogacy reflection story. Stay tuned for the next and final installment!!
How cool is this?! Healthy mothers who are willing to donate breast milk are now able to do so at a new Human Milk Depot in Mount Vernon! Read on for details here!
#milkdepot #breastmilk #inthenews #buildingfamiliesinc