It’s me again with Part III of my journey reflection. If you haven’t been following along thus far, here is a link to Part I and Part II.

Part II ended with our confirmation of pregnancy. Only moments after receiving the email from SDFC confirming my pregnancy, I sent a What’s App message to my couple saying, “Congratulations!! I don’t know if you saw the email yet, but you’re having a baby!!! I’m so so so so happy for you guys!”

Typically with an international match, the surrogate mom meets the couple in the beginning as I did, but then most often the next time they see each other is at the end when we are awaiting the birth of their baby. Mark and I were very lucky that our couple was able to make a trip during my pregnancy.

We were so happy to host them and invite Carol and her family to our home for a BBQ over Labor Day weekend. My heart was so full that day! I remember as if it happened yesterday, opening the door and hugging them both. I recall having a feeling of such joy and gratitude to be on this journey with them. Our connection was immediate. There was no moment of awkwardness or discomfort. My husband and I, and our kids felt appreciated but even more than that, there was this acknowledgment. It was clear to us that we were doing much more than fulfilling a contract.

They went home but didn’t feel as far away as they were. A profound change in our relationship occurred during their visit. We Skyped at least once a month and chatted via What’s App several times a week. I have never appreciated technology more than during this journey. Most of my appointments Shannon was able to FaceTime my couple so that they could see their baby in real time and talk with the doctor. Even from thousands of miles and opposite time zones, we were in this journey together.

Looking back, I can remember several truly amazing moments during this pregnancy. If I have to pick just one, I would choose the moment I met the baby’s maternal grandparents via Skype. It was mind-blowing, astonishing and overwhelmingly wonderful to consider all of the people that were being affected by this little being growing in my tummy. Like their daughter and son-in-law, they welcomed me into their family with open arms. There were tears all around and there are more than a few as I look back on this moment now!

As the pregnancy progressed, I felt my role was to exude enough confidence and optimism for us all. I’d often send messages like “next year this holiday is going to look so different,” and “in X amount of weeks you’ll be meeting your baby!” It seemed to pay off because shortly after I received an mp3 of their wedding song that they wanted me to play for their baby. It gave me an idea too! At around 27 weeks I visited a local ultrasound clinic so that I would be able to have video of the baby made along with a plush monkey that played the baby’s heartbeat. I shipped it to them as I was excited to provide my couple with a tangible reminder of what was to come.

It was probably in the third trimester when my couple began actively preparing for baby. Our skypes evolved into discussions on baby gear and things to stock up on. They began sharing their purchases and baby items with me. It gave me goosebumps when they shared that their daughter would sleep in the same bassinet that her mother had slept in. There was also a particular outfit that my Intended Mother and her sister had both worn home from the hospital. If you haven’t noticed my sentimental nature yet, I will tell you that this idea was so moving to me. In fact, I recall telling my husband afterward that this was why I held onto so much of my own children’s baby items. Another of the peaks of this journey was when I learned that my IM’s friends had thrown her a surprise baby shower. When she sent me the photos, she and I cried tears of joy again. Although it sounds like we cried all the time, I promise we laughed a lot together too!

Stay tuned for our delivery day!!!

My family and I had the wonderful opportunity to visit Spain for our first family trip. It combined bucket list items: sightseeing and visiting our IP’s in their home town. The beauty of Spain is far greater than any picture can convey, and the overwhelmingly kind nature of the locals made returning home that much harder. From the Palace in Madrid to Barcelona, and down to Cordoba, the trip was awesome.

After exploring Madrid and the sites, we took a high-speed train to Barcelona to watch MotoGP at Catalunya. Although the trip to Barcelona was short, we explored the Gothic quarters and at the race, we were able to walk to the starting grid to watch the awards with 93,000 other fans. The trip concluded in Cordoba, where we got to see our amazing IP’s and were honored to meet their fantastically brilliant, kind and beautiful family. We spent a day in Cordoba as tourists, a relaxing day in the countryside with the most delicious paella, and ended the weekend with a fun family meal. Being able to see, first-hand, the rhythmic dance my IPs had in caring for their little lady and the joy she gave them was perfect. They are pros, so happy, and so natural at parenting. She brought such happiness to not only her parents but their families as well. She is a lucky girl to have such a loving family. My son and I cried as we said our goodbyes, but knowing that we would be back to explore more of the amazing country, and to visit our Spanish family again in the future made saying goodbye slightly easier.

Last week was a busy week! THREE deliveries! Congratulations to Mandy, Yolanda, Jeri, and their couples. We are so proud of you all and are looking forward to birth stories and CAKE at your next Group!

#twoboysandagirl #surrogacyrocks #BIRTHday #buildingfamiliesinc

Randi finds her inner zen before transfer.

#stickyvibes #ivfgotthis #buildingfamiliesinc

The first IVF baby, Louise Brown was born today in 1978. Happy Birthday, Louise!

#ivf #happybirthday #buildingfamiliesinc

Now I am sharing the next part to my journey. If you haven’t read Part I, click here to read it. We left off where I met my Couple and it was an instant connection. Now for what happened next…….

It is funny how anxious you become once you are matched. When will the embryos be created? When will I have my medical clearance? When do I get to sign the contract? When do I start Group with Dr. Rad and the other women in the Program? Do I start communicating with my Couple now or do I wait? And what will I write about?

After receiving the ‘Congratulations on your match,’ email I hesitated a bit in reaching out. It felt like the waiting period after the first date, when you don’t know who should initiate contact. I wrote and rewrote my email several times, finally deciding to go with an email that laid it all out there. My excitement, a little background of what my family had been up to since we last spoke, some various ways of keeping in touch. When they replied, it felt a little more reserved than our initial meeting. After overthinking it a bit and worrying that I had turned them off in my exuberance, I shared my unease with my agency. At this point, they were more family than business associates so I felt comfortable expressing my trepidation. They helped me work through this and recognize the apprehensions from the couple’s point of view. What if they became attached to me and I didn’t pass medical clearance? While I had the highest optimism for our journey, they had experienced losses that made them more cautious. And knowing this helped me realize they weren’t overwhelmed by my enthusiastic personality but were fearful that once again their dream would not come true. What you will read in the next chapters is how not only a friendship bond was created but a family one too!

My husband, Mark, and I were medically cleared by Dr. Friedman with SDFC and felt so comfortable with her and her staff. Soon the contract was done and I started attending Group. It was amazing to me how diverse the women were and I loved hearing each of their stories.

Then finally the day we were waiting for had arrived. Mark and Shannon, my BFI Case manager, accompanied me. I am not kidding when I tell you that I did EVERY superstition I came across, there was no way I was letting this not work! I ate fresh pineapple, I drank pomegranate juice, I practiced fertility yoga for the week leading up to transfer, and I even buried a penny in my backyard. I wore a “lucky” transfer shirt that a friend from my mom’s group made for me and I was added to every prayer list of every church that my friends attended. I’m not going to tell you that these superstitions worked, but (spoiler alert) they didn’t NOT work. Because we were unable to Skype with my couple during the transfer, Mark took many photos and videos that I sent over as soon as I returned to the hotel for bed rest.

The pregnancy test was about 12 days later. But it felt like a year! I debated about taking a test at home, but ultimately, I wanted to find out at the same time as my Couple. We were going through this together. But, then, the night before I began to feel anxious. I felt as though I needed to be strong for my couple if the results were not what we were hoping. I can be a reactive person, so the best way I could do that was to go into the situation prepared. I gave in and took a home pregnancy test. It took everything in me to not call my couple as soon as the second pink line appeared, but I knew that it was best to allow the clinic to do their testing and provide my couple with tangible facts.

I had my blood drawn at the first appointment available at the clinic. I already knew that SDFC would be emailing us the results sometime that afternoon. As soon as I saw the email, I burst into tears. I was overwhelmed with my feelings of gratitude. I couldn’t resist contacting my couple any longer so I sent a WhatsApp message saying, “Congratulations!! I don’t know if you saw the email yet, but you’re having a baby!!! I’m so so so so happy for you guys!” From that point on I tried to keep a stream of positivity in our messages, my hope was that this would bring them the peace and assurance they needed.

Just a little shout-out to all of our supportive spouses! Although we don’t post about you as often as our surrogate mothers, your role is very important and appreciated!

#supportteam #thankfulforyou #buildingfamiliesinc