Dr. Rad & Dr. Natasha’s News & Views: COVID-19, Challenge versus Threat

Today we are all dealing with stressors in this era of COVID-19, a contagious virus. You are not alone, we are all in this together! Psychologists know that the most stressful thing for human beings is unpredictability in any situation. COVID-19 is unpredictable & does not discriminate. Indeed, the biggest weapon we have, is behavioral. These behaviors include: Stay at home, social distance, quarantine with your family, wash your hands frequently for 20 seconds each time, & disinfect surfaces in your home

Humans can cope with various types of stressors for a short time, however, prolonged and unforeseen circumstances can lead to anxiety, feelings of helplessness and depression. I’d like to frame COVID-19, a life stressor, as a Challenge and Opportunity versus a Threat. Remember our thoughts/cognitions are under our control. I prefer that frame of mind because it gives us a path to cope each day versus turning to feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. We can think of COVID-19 as a challenge to do all that we’re asked in order to mitigate, decrease the incidents of the virus and stay safe and healthy! 

Currently, we may be overwhelmed with information regarding how to fend off getting the virus. We are constantly inundated with instructions on how and when to wash your hands. I have never washed my hands on any one day as much as I have in the past several weeks. I feel like a surgeon! Aside from all the cleaning and disinfecting, social distancing is a crucial part and is becoming the cornerstone of stopping this virus. We may be alone but we are united at this critical time working together to stay healthy. Some of us may be confined at home with our families which can lead to what we call cabin fever. I know it has for me! In the past, I hated going shopping but now that I can’t, I find myself craving those experiences! That’s what happens when something is “forbidden.” The forbidden fruit really becomes desirable! I have to give my list to my daughter to do the shopping. I am envious now, while in the past I was happy to hand anyone my list with such ease! Life is truly like a box of chocolates, we have to be flexible and yield to the unknown! 

Structure and routine are necessary for all of us to experience some control and usefulness. Setting up routines & schedules for yourself and your family is important. Here are some suggestions to help you cope, stay calm and carry on. 

 

Daily Tool Box Tips! 

 

  1. Before you get out of bed: Start with stretching while focusing on deep breathing and with each breath repeating over and over in your head silently, “I feel safe and secure.”
  2. Coffee or breakfast time: I like to call this, “It’s not me first, it’s me too.” It’s valuable to take care of yourself at this time when we’re with our family 24/7. Find your space and time
  3. Quality time with your family: Game night, movie night, a walk together while social distancing, is truly an opportunity for all of us to enjoy our families! Plan a daily family activity! 
  4. Family Chores: Everyone shares in this by making their beds, meal planning, cooking, & cleaning up. It’s a good time to teach kids the importance of hygiene! 
  5. Give yourself permission to rest/relax: Do a relaxation exercise once a day, for example: Sit comfortably and visualize an image of a beautiful garden or beach scene! Start with a deep breathing exercise by inhaling while counting from 1 to 4, then slowly exhaling while counting from 1 to 7. This kind of breathing releases muscle tension. 
  6. Reach out & connect with someone: Call someone you usually don’t have time for or have not seen in a while. It’s fulfilling! 
  7. Continue to enhance your specific community: Exchanging communication on a daily basis is beneficial.
  8. Be mindful of your feelings: Do not engage in watching TV all day (limit TV news time) and stop monitoring the numbers of COVID- 19, because that leads to a downward spiral. We will overcome this Pandemic. It is time-limited! 
  9. “This too shall pass:” Use this mantra when you feel emotionally overwhelmed. 
  10. Attend to your spiritual needs: Daily meditation and prayer are healthy. Try saying this, “Today, I’m giving all my problems to my higher power, so that I can be present & enjoy this day. I am releasing my worries.” 
  11. Gratitudes help us cope better: Try writing, texting or sharing something you are grateful for with someone, morning and evening. I (Dr. Rad) text my pregnant daughter with gratitude every day, “today I am grateful for my health!” Engage or commit to a 30-day gratitude exchange with someone via text, it’s truly anchoring! 
  12. Laughter is the BEST MEDICINE: Laugh each day, even smiling triggers physical well-being and positive neurotransmitters from our brain. 

 

Sending you positive vibes and virtual hugs! We will step up to this Challenge with love, grace, and success in staying healthy! 

Stay safe, until we meet again! Dr. Rad & Dr. Natasha 

 

Maritza’s Birth Story

Maritza bonded with the Intended Mom at the first meeting.  It was easy to see that they were a perfect match and it was a beautiful thing to witness as their bond deepened throughout the pregnancy.  A C-Section was planned for April 16, 2020, and typically the Surrogate Mom has her hubby with her, but Maritza wanted the mom-to-be at her side.   This didn’t come as a surprise because these two gals did everything together this past year!!  So, the new mommy got to hold her son who weighed a perfect 6lb 7oz.  

A goal that many of these special women have is for Dr. Rad to say to them, “You are a successful Surrogate.”  It is a defining moment.  But this time, someone beat her to it.  No, it was not one of us.  It was Maritza, herself!  The first words out of her mouth when she called us after the delivery was, “I did it, I am a successful Surrogate!”  Yes, you did Maritza!!!!

 

Congratulations New York!

Proof that there are still great things happening in the world! Congratulations New York!

https://www.nydailynews.com/news/politics/ny-paid-surrogacy-included-in-state-budget-20200403-gwarxq7k3ffbbojd3afiizwgx4-story.html

 

Throwback Thursday!

Since we started the week celebrating Randi’s ‘retirement’ journey, we couldn’t think of a better way to throw it back this Thursday than this photo of her and Carol with her first surro-family from the 2010 BFI Picnic.

Annette’s Birth Story

Confident and easy going.  Those words best describe Annette.  She was certain she would become pregnant with the first attempt, and she was!  When we hit a snag in the pregnancy, Vasa Previa, like everyth

ing else she took it in stride.  She listened intently to the doctor as she explained how the remainder of her pregnancy would be.  And then she was thrown another curveball….COVID-19!!!

No surprise to us, she also managed that beautifully.  On April 4, 2020, at 34 weeks gestation with her daughter by her side, she gave birth to a super healthy baby boy weighing 5 lbs!!  He was sure to be over  8 lbs if we had gone to term!  

Look for Annette’s story in the coming weeks as she shares her pregnancy adventures during COVID-19.

May 2020 Bios of the Month

Maritza

Maritza had a teacher in High School that was a surrogate and was immediately inspired. Her goals for a long while has been to learn more about autism and how she can better assist children/teens with special needs. She knows that she can help in a meaningful way. She loves serving and helping others so it’s no surprise that she makes a great Surrogate!

She is a proud mom to Alexa age 9 and Ivan, age 7. Her belief is that time is the most valuable thing in the world, so make the best out of it. Follow your dreams!

Aleza

Meet Aleza…another one of our amazing surrogates! Although Aleza’s 3 boys keep her busy, she always has high energy and a positive attitude. She and her husband, Eusebio, make a great team in the real estate world and in their home. They love taking the family on quick road trips and hiking here in Southern California.

Deleted:

She says the happiest time of her life was when she gave birth to her first child, stating that at that moment she learned what unconditional love felt like. It’s no wonder why she wanted to gift that feeling to a deserving couple!

Randi’s Final Birth Story

So, believe it or not, Randi has entered retirement.  No, not the type where she can apply for Medicaid, lol, that is a long way off.  She has delivered her last baby.  This historic event occurred on March 27, 2020 minutes after she was admitted to the hospital.  That’s right, minutes!  The perfect baby girl arrived weighing 7lb 15oz and was a long 21.5 inches!!  

This was a sibling journey and she joins her older sister that Randi delivered in January 2018.  And something that makes her last journey even more amazing is that she is also Randi’s namesake!  “Lin” is now two special ladies’ middle name!  Well, Baby is not a lady yet, but you get my meaning!  

Join us at BFI in honoring Randi for making such a difference in the world by bringing these kids into the world:

L.S. & J.S. – 06.2017
B.C. – 12.2012
D.C. – 06.2015
P.M.- 01.2018
A.M. – 03.2020

A Letter from BFI About COVID-19

The health and safety of our Couples, their Surrogate Mothers and their unborn children are always our top priority. The CDC/WHO said canceling public gatherings is necessary to protect public health and slow the rate of transmission of COVID-19.  Our goal is to do our part to flatten the curve and to gather as much information as we can to help guide you during this time.

What does this mean for BFI?  

  • Until further notice, all BFI Meetings & Gatherings will be made via video conference.  
  • We urge everyone to cancel any unnecessary traveling.  
  • If available in your area, utilize free grocery pickup. 
  • We recommend that Intended Parents plan to arrive in California earlier than initially planned for the birth of their baby in case a quarantine will be enforced prior to allowing you into the hospital.  If Intended Parents are local, please do not travel within 3 months of your child’s arrival.
  • Surrogate Mothers are advised to continue attending appointments as required by their treating physician.  We recommend not arriving too early for appointments so your time in the waiting room is limited. If the clinic is busy, ask for an approximate wait time and wait in your car.  Remember to wash or sanitize hands immediately upon leaving the appointment. 
  • Until further notice, BFI will not attend appointments in person.  Our Case Managers will coordinate attendance via video when possible. 
  • We are in contact with the IVF clinics to ensure that we are ready when it becomes safe to begin the process again.

We will be calling hospitals frequently for any new changes in protocols for deliveries.  For any babies arriving in the next few months, we will contact the Intended Parents and their Surrogate Mother directly to develop a plan with your hospital.  

The BFI Team has always worked remotely so our experience is vast in the virtual world.  We have always and continue to be available 24/7. Please reach out to us if you have any additional questions or concerns, we are with you every step of the way! 

The BFI Team

 

Carol Weathers – [email protected]

Randi Caporale – [email protected] 

Shannon Breckner – [email protected] 

Lauryn Christensen –  [email protected]